Those Boots Weren`t Made For Walkin`.

Image is everything in Japan so style matters. A unkempt Japanese is like an honest U.S president. A rare sight indeed. A recent straw poll in the classroom revealed that your average young Japanese would no more be seen as unfashionable or scruffy that they would a Kim Jong Ill sympathiser. Our survey said `It`s important to be fashionable` only one out of forty students said `yes but having a personality is more important`.

And what fashion it is. The `fashionistas` (does that word make you want to murder people too?) of downtown Tokyo gobble up yer Pradas, Guccis and Ralphs like hot sake. The most romantic present a boy can give is a Louis Vuiton bag apparently. There`s also plenty of room for the `completely out there` though, such as the kids that hang out by Harajuku station on weekends dressed as robots, French maids, goths and all manner of vaugely disturbing outfits that defy explanation.
For a nation so conservative by nature your average Japanese young lady about Shibuya displays none of the usual coyness dresswise. Those too old to compete for the 'Indecent Shortness of Underage Skirt' award (schoolgirls really do go about like Gogo Yubari by the way) do a passable impression of naive upmarket hookers. To get an picture of the `look` imagine a head on collision between your grannys wardrobe and that of a gangsta rappers moll. Missy Elliot meets Maggie Thatcher. And offs her scrawny ass. There follows a transcript of from the Shinjuku Finishing School For Young Ladies;

"0600 hours kit inspection. All present and correct?"
"Sir yes sir"
"Is your hair bleached an unatural ginger shade?"
"Sir yes sir"
"Do you have a bizzarely patterned jersey/blouse that would not look out of place in a nursing home or on an old rerun of Dynasty?"
"Sir yes sir"
"Have you teamed said jersey/blouse with a cropped fluffy or other jacket and oversized costume jewelry achieving a surprisingly stylish effect from items that should really never be seen together?"
"Sir yes sir"
"Are your boots knee high, spike heeled and worn over sparkly stockings for a disturbingly cute whilst sexual effect?"
Sir yes sir"
"Are the velvet hotpants/denim miniskirt so short as to threaten a display of wares?"
"Sir yes sir"
"Very good maggots. Now go....Wait a minute what's this? Private do I see a pair of jeans before me?"
"Sir I was cold sir. Sir it's the middle of December sir"
"GODDAMMIT PRIVATE ARE YOU IN THIS ARMY TO DISPLAY INDEPENDENT THOUGHT?"
"Sir no sir"
"Private get changed immediately and report for toilet cleaning duty"
"Sir yes sir"
"I can't hear you private"
"SIR YES SIR"

Next time; French Maids, gambling and 'four in a bath' shocker. No word of a lie.